Entitlement

Why is it that when you are about to accomplish something major in your life, you feel you're entitled to certain things? I don't mean in the accomplishment in itself. I mean, with gifts and such.

For example: I wanted to get my lash extended for our wedding. I told myself: "Oh! This is your BIG day, the lash extension will make you look prettier." Then, I was deterred by the price tag. But when I was studying for NCLEX, I told myself: "When you pass the NCLEX, you should get the eye lash extended, no matter what! You've been studying your butt off and it's your reward!"

Same goes for getting my nails and feet done. "You're only getting married once....go ahead. Spoil yourself!" is what I told myself.

Same goes when I bought my expensive L.A.M.B. bag. "You're graduating. You worked so hard to come to this point in time. Go ahead. You deserve this great gift!"

I know. I'm being materialistic. I'm not like this all the time. Seriously. Ask anyone. But I guess I feel like things that I've waited for are all happening all at once and I want to be acknowledged.

Example: someone gave us $25 to Target as a wedding gift. I thought to myself: "what the?! Twenty five dollars? Seriously? It's a freaking wedding that comes once for a couple. Not a birthday that happens every year!" But of course, I pondered a bit and know that it's the thought that counts. It's not the price tag that counts. And I also know that people's financial situations may be difficult at this time and that the $25 may be all that they can afford....

I'm irritated at myself and ask myself the following question: "where do you have the balls to have this entitlement?" Seriously speaking, I'm not a materialistic person normally. But all these big changes in my life are making me feel like I'm entitled to certain things...and in reality, no one (especially me) should feel entitled to anything. Good thing that this feeling of entitlement from other people don't happen to me that often.... Otherwise, I have a big problem. =)