The key to a happy marriage is....

COMMUNICATION!!!

Yes Ladies and Gents...

I'm realizing that the key to a happy marriage is all about COMMUNICATION. Of course, I'm starting to notice various things about different relationships that surround me. Mind you, most of these relationships I've been examining are long term relationships, where they've been married for many DECADES! ***** Although I'll tell you most of what I know about these relationships, I probably am not telling you the whole story since I'm not in these relationships...*****

Let's start by talking about couple #1, who has been married for ... I think 20+ years. Recently, I found out that this couple is financially doing bad. I couldn't understand why. I heard that they had to close the shop they had for ~10 years and the husband is now driving a taxi. WHAT?? Really?? What happened? I was thinking: did the economy tank so bad that they had to close their shop? Mind you, their shop is like a "all trinkets" type of store. And the business was doing really good for a while, as far as I knew. And later I found out that his business started doing bad since a few year ago but he didn't tell his wife about it. I also noticed that he was always out and about, and never really at the store. We went by there a few times last year and didn't really see him there. His wife works for the US government and the store was his "thing". And because they had joint bank accounts, the invoices for the business were all paid for them. Appearantly, the wife didn't know what was going on with their business. AND he lied to his kids too. Two of their kids were going off to college and they needed money for dorm, books, etc. Instead of telling their kids about their situation, the husband wrote checks for them and they all bounced! How embarrassing for the kids! And now, their house is in foreclosure. And the husband's response to this: "oh, it's okay. we can go back to our country." Wow..really? All of his kids grew up here and have been in this country for over 20+ years and just because he made a bad decision, they should all be up rooted to be in another country they know nothing about? And I also heard that the husband and the wife aren't really on talking terms. How sad, right?

So, what did I learn from this couple? No matter how bad the news may be, it is better to embrace the situation together than to try to solve the situation on your own. You are married and should be PARTNERS in all your decision making. Not just when it's convenient for you. You shouldn't choose what you situation should be appropriate for discussion. All and everything should be shared.

Next up: couple #2. This couple were together for 27 years! But they are now getting a divorce. Why? Well, simply because he cheated. Okay, maybe there's more to it than that, but I don't know. The wife is who I know and she said it's because he has been having affairs the last few years they were together and she just found out about them. So, the story goes something like this: the husband's father was sick and the couple decided to let his parents come and stay with them. Well, as the father got sicker and sicker, the husband was further and further. Of course, they also had two children. And the parents and the children were watched after by the wife, while the husband was gone. He always had "business meetings" and "business trips" he had to attend to. And the wife was a "home-body" and didn't really go out as much. And when they did go out, they were always hanging out with people who looked up to him since he was a big shot. Of course, he asked why she didn't laugh at his jokes or why she didn't do this or that. And she didn't much about these then. And she thought everything was okay between them two. Fast forward a few years ... she found out that he was cheating on her this whole time.

What did I learn from couple #2? It's always good to have a date night every so often and it's always good to do a "check in" every once in a while. Find out what the person is thinking about as far as the relationship goes. And what your future plans are. Remember to not expect your significant other to be a mind reader.

There are many other couples that are having a GREAT time of their lives being together. I'm getting a bit tired...so I'll write about them in a little while...